Fear is a big obstacle for many people. Fear can stop us in our tracks. Fear can ruin our dreams.
Fear of success. Fear of failure. Fear that your secrets will be discovered. Fear of imperfection. Imposter Syndrome. The list could go on and on. In fact, there are so many ways that fear can derail us that I plan to write a lot more about it.
So how do we overcome fear? Good question – and there isn’t just one answer. But today I am sharing my number one solution to stop fear from stopping me.
Release The Fear
This is the ideal, isn’t it? Imagine how it would feel if you woke up one day and all your fear was magically gone! Sounds impossible…and it is. Too bad! But it IS possible to release one fear at a time.
Consider this acronym for F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real. Your fears are real, but what if they are based on inaccurate information?
Try it for yourself: choose a single fear, then look for evidence that this is a false assumption.
My Example of F.E.A.R.
I see a quilt pattern I like, so I buy the fabric and pattern to make it. I open the pattern instructions and I’m hit with fear that I can’t do this. It’s too complex. It’s too many steps. Some of the instructions are over my head. I’m convinced I can’t master this, so I throw it in the corner. I’m afraid I can’t do it. I’m afraid that if I try it, I’ll end up with a crappy result. People will point and laugh at my feeble attempts. (Wow, I’m really good at finding fears!)
Am I right? Let’s see.
- Have I followed patterns before? Yes.
- Have I followed difficult patterns before? Yes.
- Have I had trouble with a pattern before? Yes.
- Was I able to find help when I ran into trouble? Yes.
- Can I follow the pattern one step at a time, instead of jumping ahead and getting lost? Yes. I might not like it, but I can slow down.
- Have I mastered other quilting and sewing techniques? Yes. But I had crappy results until I mastered those techniques.
- Can I make a sample block to see where I need to get help or figure out a technique? Yes.
- Has anyone ever laughed at my efforts? Yes, actually. But I survived, and had a few laughs myself.
- Is this fear real? Yes. Absolutely. Denying a fear is not at all helpful. But the evidence shows that I can do it anyway.
That leads me to one of the best resources I’ve ever used to release a fear. This book, “Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway”, written by Susan Jeffers. I re-read this book regularly, and every time I get something new from it.
Will you fix or remove fear forever?
Of course not! Fear is a natural part of being alive and an essential survival skill. Fear alerts us to look a little deeper, to be aware of the real danger. It is also an opportunity to look for possibilities. We can identify the dangers. We can put safeguards in place. We CAN succeed.
Let fear be your friend.
A word of warning. If you decide to look for a T.E.A.R. (True Evidence Actually Real), you will also find that. If you can’t avoid looking for this evidence, remember to also look for the opposite.
I recommend making a list of your successes. It is empowering to see just how many times you defeated your fears. You can take this a step further and write down at least three successes every day. It might look like “I combed my hair, I fed my cat, and I fed myself” some days, and that’s ok!
Dream big. Be afraid. Find your possibilities and go for it!
P.S. the link above is an affiliate link. If you click and buy this book, I may earn a small commission. Bonus: you will be giving me evidence that I can earn money with my writing – and I thank you for your support!
