Live Cheap Dream Big

Living the dream on a shoestring budget

Month: October 2020

What Happened To My Inspiration?

October is not my favorite month. In Alberta, the weather is cooling, the trees have lost most of their leaves, and things start to feel drab and colorless. And I lose my inspiration. Normally I am an optimistic person. I look for the positive in any situation. I try to see the humour in any situation.

The fall and winter months are always a challenge. Staying optimistic is hard enough at the best of times, and when my surroundings don’t inspire me, I start looking for other ways to be optimistic. Usually inspiration follows close behind.

Gratitude

If you’ve never experienced a gratitude practice, now is a great time to start. Each day think of three things that you are grateful for. You can write them down or make a game with someone else. Try to come up with something different each day. You may be grateful for something specific every day, but the point is to come up with a lot of things to be grateful for.

If you are able to capture your gratitude in a journal, on post it notes that you stick on a window, in a Day Book,  or in some other way, you can go back for inspiration when you’re having a particularly uninspired day.

Bonus: A regular gratitude practice will increase your overall life satisfaction. Google “proof that gratitude works” for the science behind it.

Hobbies

What is a hobby? One definition is “an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure”. I think people get caught up in the idea that hobbies are crafty things that you do with your kids or grandkids. Visions of macaroni glued to a paper plate, anyone? Not so. It can be ANY activity.

Many hobbies are creative, like quilting, needlework, woodworking, welding, painting, drawing, model building, and pottery. But it doesn’t have to produce anything, other than pleasure!

Watching movies might be your thing. Bird watching can include a love of cataloging and documenting local birds, or researching and planning a vacation to see birds that aren’t native to the area. Foodies are always on the hunt for a great new recipe or restaurant.

Sports are a double bonus – exercise brings both emotional and physical aspects of health into play. Pun intended!

A hobby should inspire you, make you feel good, and even relax you. Want proof? Google “proof that hobbies are good for you” for the science behind it.

One more reason to develop hobbies while you are young – it has been shown that people who retire with hobbies to look forward to may have a happier (and sometimes longer) retirement.

If you don’t have a hobby, I highly recommend you get one – or a dozen. If you try a hobby and hate it, try a different one until you find something you enjoy.

Help Someone Else

Volunteering is proven to provide many benefits for the volunteer. By helping someone else, you help yourself to be more self confident and happier.

Don’t know where or what to volunteer? Think about the things you enjoy doing. If you love dogs, volunteer to walk a senior’s dog a few times a week, or when they are not feeling up to a walk. Or volunteer at a local shelter or vet clinic. If you enjoy driving, volunteer to drive someone who doesn’t have a vehicle. Start a carpool with your coworkers.

Can’t afford to volunteer? Look into paid options. Being paid for helping someone doesn’t cancel out the benefit!

Teaching or coaching is a great way to help people. The technology is available easily now to create and offer training courses online. This is a great option if you have a knack for explaining how to do something, and you are patient as people are learning. Coaches are found in all areas now, not just sports. There are garden coaches, life coaches, art coaches, and more.

Word of warning: Don’t over-commit yourself. That is a sure path to burnout.

Try Something New

If you have slipped into a funk, learn something new. It will boost you out of a rut, get the wheels turning in your mind, and you may even discover a new hobby or career.

It’s easy for our brains to settle into a rut, it’s the safe path and our brains like to keep us safe. But we all know that “safe” can also be “boring”. Add a little adventure to your life to shake up your brain a bit and let me know in the comments how it goes!

Now I’m Inspired!

I have inspired myself to get moving and create something. Today I think I will tackle that sweater I began sewing a few weeks ago and stopped when I ran into a difficult decision. I’m ready to take it on now!

Or maybe I will use the image from this post to make a landscape art quilt. The possibilities are endless!

Are you inspired? Share in the comments what you do to get re-inspired.

Tips For Traumatic Medical Appointments

I have a dentist appointment today. Like many people, I freak out at the dentist.

Who Wouldn’t Be Afraid?

I am powerless and someone is going to hurt me, and I have no control over that.

Gaining control over my fear is something I do have power over. It’s not easy, but it’s possible. I have had help in coming up with a plan for today, and I will do my best to follow the plan.

This appointment is at a teaching clinic. During the initial “get to know me” appointment, I shared ALL of the trauma that contributed to my TMJ issues. No details, just that certain kinds of trauma happened. One trauma was a surprise to the student dentist, and I am quite sure that information was shared among the other students.

In fact, I hope it was shared. It is important to know how to deal with patients who have been traumatized. Be assured that it will come up at some point. I am honoured to be a “teaching patient”.

His response to me was excellent…and incomplete. He classified this trauma as a psychological trauma rather than physical trauma to the jaw (which is all I was sharing). His expectation is that the psychological trauma will cause me to feel pain differently than someone who has not been traumatized. And that I will have anxiety issues. These two assumptions may (are probably) correct. But my point was that there have been multiple physical traumas to my jaw and that information is essential to forming a complete picture, which will lead to the most effective treatment.

I wrote this post because I realize that my experiences can help others. I am late to the game in learning coping strategies that are really effective. Up until a few years ago I believed my only solution was grit my teeth and get through it…which may explain some of that TMJ problem! There are better options for traumatized patients, and I truly believe that the medical community wants to understand how to help us too.

Tips For Student Doctors

DO ask more questions when you get to a sensitive topic to ensure that you understand the patient. Traumatized people often need compassionate encouragement to fully express some things. I don’t think I fully expressed the fact that it was physical trauma I was reporting, and that the psychological trauma is something I am successfully addressing elsewhere. Being heard is a relief to many traumatized patients.

DO respect the patient’s choices. Your patient may opt not to answer and that’s ok. For some patients, explaining only increases their anxiety.

PRO TIP: offer the patient the choice not to answer.

Tips For All Medical Students

DO absorb the trauma information that has been shared. Don’t take on the trauma. Your job is not to be a therapist (unless that is the profession you’ve chosen!). Your patient doesn’t need your sympathy, they need to know you have the information to treat them effectively.

DO adjust your treatment of the patient accordingly. Be sensitive to the idea that your treatment may trigger a traumatic response. It’s not about you. You can help by understanding this and not taking it personally. For me, a clinical approach (“just the facts, ma’am”!) really helps. For others, it may be different.

DO ask your instructors for help if you’re unsure how to help a traumatized patient. Consider doing some role play scenarios with your fellow students to practice.

DO ask the patient how you can best support them today. Accept that they might not know immediately how you can support them. Let them know you will listen if they choose to speak up later.

DO NOT use the patient’s disclosure as a springboard for sharing your traumatic experiences. Your patient is already dealing with their own traumas, they do not need to (and can not) process yours. They are not being rude; they simply don’t have the bandwidth for anything more. If they were not already dealing with their own crap, chances are that they would want to be a compassionate listener for you. PLEASE DO get help from a qualified therapist if that will be helpful to you.

UNDERSTAND that your patient needs to be “selfish”, to focus all their attention on their coping strategies during the appointment.

DO be gentle with yourself. We are all learning. If you feel you made a mistake, acknowledge it, learn how to do better next time, and move on. If you need help, ask your instructors. You can even ask your patients for feedback, if you give them the option to not answer if they don’t feel comfortable.

Tips For The Medical Community

DO expect to deal with a lot of traumatized patients. They are everywhere. I expect every medical professional has had a traumatized patient that was a challenge to treat. Hats off to you for continuing the work you do.

DO educate yourselves. A ton of resources are available now that were not available a decade or more ago. Learn about ACEs, Adverse Childhood Experiences. Here is one resource: https://www.albertafamilywellness.org/what-we-know/aces.  Read The Deepest Well https://amzn.to/341rk9y (affiliate link) by Nadine Burke Harris, M.D. I’m confident that the medical community has access to many more resources for treating traumatized (aka “difficult”) patients.

PRO TIP: share resources you find helpful with your medical community. Share (respecting privacy of course!) experiences and strategies for supporting your traumatized patients.

DO ask how you can best support a patient who discloses trauma to you. Ask them how you can support them to get through the appointment. Don’t be surprised if they don’t have an answer right away and tap you on the arm 15 minutes later with an answer.

Tips For Traumatized Patients

This is your appointment. This is your time. Do whatever you need to do to cope with the anxiety, the fear, and whatever else is happening. You do not need to apologize for being a “difficult” patient, it’s not your fault you’re emotionally overloaded.

DO tell the medical staff what you will be/are experiencing (anxiety, zoning out, dissociation, etc.).

DO tell the medical staff what you need (frequent breaks from dental treatment, instructions written down in case you’ve missed something because you zoned out, specific help with grounding – like the doctor saying your name and checking in with you, etc.).

DO give the medical staff the opportunity to help you. If they didn’t care about you, they never would have gone into a medical profession. Make this assumption until proven wrong…if you’re wrong, find a different professional.

DO get help from your own support people to make a plan for coping before you get to the appointment.

Above all, give yourself a high five. You can do this. I believe in you.

Share Your Comments

Do you have coping strategies for scary situations? Consider sharing them in the comments. Your strategy might be the perfect one to someone who really needs it.

© 2024 - Live Cheap Dream Big|Design By 30 Day Blog Challenge