Live Cheap Dream Big

Living the dream on a shoestring budget

Category: Dream Big

What’s a WIP?

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On June 7, 2021

In Dream Big

I wanted to post some of the quilts I have been working on but it turns out I haven’t FINISHED a lot! I do have several WIPs though.

What’s a WIP? A Work In Progress. Having a WIP means I can let go of the need to only see progress in a finished item. As long as I am working on something, I AM making progress. And progress is enough. So here are a few of my WIPs.

Morning Glory

I bought the kit, because I was new to quilting and didn’t know how to calculate fabric requirements. I still don’t actually…I just buy as much pretty fabric as I can afford and then wail later when I use it and realize I am 1/4 metre short.

This kit sat in my sewing room for a couple of years. I thought those corners were just too complicated and I was afraid to tackle it. Until Covid. Nothing to lose when you’re Covid Quilting!

Turns out the corners weren’t so difficult after all. Funny how that works out. I followed the pattern, used up my fabrics with a little left over, and now it is ready to quilt.

Friends Quilt Together

This one started off with a block exchange with my quilt guild. The center blocks are the ones that I received.

This is one of the first quilts I’ve designed. I was challenged by the block with the orange fabric. It really stands out, and I learned a lot about how colour can make a block come forward or move to the background. In the end I added an orange zinger around the center to balance the boldness, and lighter friendship stars in two corners to bring the eye around the quilt. I also added in some darker fabric in borders and sashing to give the eye a rest.

I’m really happy with it, and I can’t wait to get it quilted!

Wing and a Prayer

This was also a Covid Quilt. I had a jelly roll of batik browns in my stash (2 1/2″ strips cut the width of the fabric).

I found a free pattern online that I liked, but it called for 3 1/2″ strips. This is where the “wing and a prayer” name came from. I winged the design, and ended up with this. It may still get a bit more added to the top and bottom to make it a bit bigger.

All in all, I think I am happy with my progress! I have a few more WIPs on the shelf but I will post them later.

How do you measure your progress? If it is only in the finishes, I highly recommend taking another look at your WIPs. We are all Works In Progress, and each step brings us a new lesson or an opportunity to polish a skill. How beautiful is that?

What Happened To My Inspiration?

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On October 29, 2020

In Dream Big, Thinking Out Loud

October is not my favorite month. In Alberta, the weather is cooling, the trees have lost most of their leaves, and things start to feel drab and colorless. And I lose my inspiration. Normally I am an optimistic person. I look for the positive in any situation. I try to see the humour in any situation.

The fall and winter months are always a challenge. Staying optimistic is hard enough at the best of times, and when my surroundings don’t inspire me, I start looking for other ways to be optimistic. Usually inspiration follows close behind.

Gratitude

If you’ve never experienced a gratitude practice, now is a great time to start. Each day think of three things that you are grateful for. You can write them down or make a game with someone else. Try to come up with something different each day. You may be grateful for something specific every day, but the point is to come up with a lot of things to be grateful for.

If you are able to capture your gratitude in a journal, on post it notes that you stick on a window, in a Day Book,  or in some other way, you can go back for inspiration when you’re having a particularly uninspired day.

Bonus: A regular gratitude practice will increase your overall life satisfaction. Google “proof that gratitude works” for the science behind it.

Hobbies

What is a hobby? One definition is “an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure”. I think people get caught up in the idea that hobbies are crafty things that you do with your kids or grandkids. Visions of macaroni glued to a paper plate, anyone? Not so. It can be ANY activity.

Many hobbies are creative, like quilting, needlework, woodworking, welding, painting, drawing, model building, and pottery. But it doesn’t have to produce anything, other than pleasure!

Watching movies might be your thing. Bird watching can include a love of cataloging and documenting local birds, or researching and planning a vacation to see birds that aren’t native to the area. Foodies are always on the hunt for a great new recipe or restaurant.

Sports are a double bonus – exercise brings both emotional and physical aspects of health into play. Pun intended!

A hobby should inspire you, make you feel good, and even relax you. Want proof? Google “proof that hobbies are good for you” for the science behind it.

One more reason to develop hobbies while you are young – it has been shown that people who retire with hobbies to look forward to may have a happier (and sometimes longer) retirement.

If you don’t have a hobby, I highly recommend you get one – or a dozen. If you try a hobby and hate it, try a different one until you find something you enjoy.

Help Someone Else

Volunteering is proven to provide many benefits for the volunteer. By helping someone else, you help yourself to be more self confident and happier.

Don’t know where or what to volunteer? Think about the things you enjoy doing. If you love dogs, volunteer to walk a senior’s dog a few times a week, or when they are not feeling up to a walk. Or volunteer at a local shelter or vet clinic. If you enjoy driving, volunteer to drive someone who doesn’t have a vehicle. Start a carpool with your coworkers.

Can’t afford to volunteer? Look into paid options. Being paid for helping someone doesn’t cancel out the benefit!

Teaching or coaching is a great way to help people. The technology is available easily now to create and offer training courses online. This is a great option if you have a knack for explaining how to do something, and you are patient as people are learning. Coaches are found in all areas now, not just sports. There are garden coaches, life coaches, art coaches, and more.

Word of warning: Don’t over-commit yourself. That is a sure path to burnout.

Try Something New

If you have slipped into a funk, learn something new. It will boost you out of a rut, get the wheels turning in your mind, and you may even discover a new hobby or career.

It’s easy for our brains to settle into a rut, it’s the safe path and our brains like to keep us safe. But we all know that “safe” can also be “boring”. Add a little adventure to your life to shake up your brain a bit and let me know in the comments how it goes!

Now I’m Inspired!

I have inspired myself to get moving and create something. Today I think I will tackle that sweater I began sewing a few weeks ago and stopped when I ran into a difficult decision. I’m ready to take it on now!

Or maybe I will use the image from this post to make a landscape art quilt. The possibilities are endless!

Are you inspired? Share in the comments what you do to get re-inspired.

How To Let Your Emotions Lead You To Your Purpose

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On August 19, 2020

In Dream Big

We’re told to “find your purpose” and to “live on purpose” and then our lives will be fulfilling. But that can be frustrating when we aren’t sure of what our purpose is! What does “finding your purpose” mean, and how do we do it?

I find my purpose through my emotions. Emotions are a great indicator of when you’re on the right or wrong track. If you’re struggling to find your purpose, take a few minutes and make a Purpose List. You might want to use a spreadsheet for this (if that’s your thing!) but a piece of paper works just as well.

Label the columns across the top:

  • Activity
  • People
  • Place
  • Technology/Tools
  • Rating
  • <Leave the last column blank>

Fill In Your List

Under the Activity label, list all the activities that can put you in the zone, where you lose track of time and you feel peaceful when you finish the activity.

Under the People label, note how many people are involved. In my list, most of the activities that can put me in the zone are solitary, it’s just me. A stage performer might need a cheering audience, stagehands, and fellow performers.

Under the Place label, note the physical environment for each activity. You may need to list several places when the activity, photography as an example, can be done in lots of places. On my list, quilting is done primarily in my quilting studio. I can hand sew in another location – I can take it with me when I’m camping, or work on it from the family room with the tv on, or take it along when I am visiting a friend.

Under the Technology/Tools label, note the equipment needed for the activity. For quilting I need a sewing machine, sewing tools and supplies, and possibly software for quilting or embroidery. Gardening requires gardening tools, fertilizer, seeds, garden space, etc.

Rate Your Activities

Once you’ve listed all the activities you enjoy add your rating using a scale of 1 to 5.

A rating of 1 means you would find a way to do the activity no matter what, because it is essential to you. Does an activity make you feel peaceful? Bring you joy? Make you lose track of time? Those should be rated as a 1, 2 or 3.

A rating of 4 or 5 means you enjoy the activity, but it isn’t a high priority right now.

I rate writing as a 1 because it’s something I have done all my life and life would not be worth living if I couldn’t do it. I rate sewing clothing for myself as a 5 because I want the end result, but I can’t produce it yet.

Why Not?

Now for that unlabeled column. Label this one “Why Not?” This is where you get to dig a little deeper. Give yourself more than a few minutes to complete this part.

Look at each activity and think about why you don’t spend more time doing it. Maybe you don’t have time, or you don’t have money to buy supplies or equipment, or you don’t have the space available. Those are easy things to spot.

Now dig into those emotional clues. Does an activity cause you frustration? Sadness? Fear? Embarrassment? You’ll want to dig deeper into those ones.

Maybe you have family members (including pets!) who interrupt your favorite activity which causes so much frustration that you stop the activity. In my case, when my cat wants me to take her outside for some play time, she will jump on the tables in my quilt studio or scratch on the furniture. She knows she isn’t allowed to do those things, but she also knows that she will get my attention that way. My first option is to give her treats on her perch. If that doesn’t cue her to curl up and nap, I end up taking her outside.

Another example for me is sewing clothing for myself. I really want to sew my own clothing, but I get angry and frustrated when my efforts don’t result in a flattering, well-fitting piece of clothing. In my Why Not column I list time, skill, and knowledge. I have taken classes and I have worked with several informal mentors. I watch You Tube videos and read books to learn. What I haven’t done is take the time to practice the techniques and develop my skill.

Evaluation

Now that you have filled in your Purpose list, evaluate it. How many activities are rated at 1? Can you possibly do all those things within the time you have available? How many are rated as 5? What would you need to do to change the fives to a 1, 2 or 3?

If you decide a 5 rated activity will never make it to at least a 2 rating, it’s not likely to be part of your life purpose. Give yourself permission to let it go. How does that feel? Is there a sense of relief?

Now give yourself permission to focus the time and energy you’ve released from that 5 rated activity on a 1 activity. If you feel a renewed excitement, you’re on the right track. If, however, you feel sadness or even grief at giving up the 5 activity, re-evaluate it. Maybe it’s actually a 3.

Developing a stronger awareness of emotions is an excellent tool for discovering your purpose. Evaluating your interests and rating them gives you insight into the activities that resonate most strongly.

Being able to prioritize your top interests can be life changing. Many of us fall into the trap of thinking we must do it all, right now. That’s not true. We may have responsibilities that are essential, but we also have time to focus on our own purpose. If we don’t have time to focus on all our interests now, we can set some aside until we can focus on them.

Giving yourself permission to let go of some activities – not forever but at least for short term – can also be motivating. I had an interest in quilting for many years, but I set it aside until I had the time and the money to be able to do it. Now I enjoy it that much more because I’ve had all those years to anticipate the fun I would have someday.

Ready to live your life on purpose now? Go for it!

If you’d like my help to create your Purpose List, get in touch with me. I’m happy to help.

Novel Update: Scenes 1-3

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On June 23, 2020

In Dream Big, Fiction

I joined Jeff Goins 500 Words a Day challenge on Monday. The goal is to write 500 words a day for 31 days. Just writing, no editing. I only discovered this challenge a few days ago but it has been going on for several years already. When a good thing starts it’s hard to stop it!

I use Scrivener for writing novels, and there is a handy tool that tracks my writing progress each day. Yesterday it showed about 1,000 words written. I probably deleted that many too! Anyway, I can say I made progress and met the challenge of 500 words.

I’m not sure how this will play out, as my novel is in the second draft stage. A lot of my work is editing and rewriting. I can write 500 words every day even if it isn’t exactly according to the challenge. One thing that the challenge does is motivate me to work on the novel every day. I have not been doing that for the last year, even though I want to finish this story and move on to the next story in the series.

When I wrote the first draft of Live Cheap Dream Big, I was really focused on the 50,000 word count to meet the NaNoWriMo challenge. I did well with the first half of the story and then it went off at such a crazy tangent that I gave up in disgust. I did meet the NaNoWriMo challenge though!

This book sat in a corner for several years. When I dusted it off and reread it, I decided it still had potential. I spent a few days considering how I could salvage the initial story and eventually it landed in the corner again.

Elsie taps me on the shoulder every now and then asking if I’m ready to try again. Yesterday I was. I have the first two scenes edited. Yay! The first pass through the novel this time is to pull the story line together. Once I have that done I will go through it again to polish it. Then, hopefully, it will be ready for a professional editor to take a crack at it.

Excerpt From Live Cheap, Dream Big

This is a short excerpt from the novel. Post in the comments and let me know what you think. Be constructive and kind please!

Scene Three

Today I move on to the third scene.

Scene three originated from a short story I wrote about an actual event. I added it to the novel about a year ago. It’s written in first person. Today I will rewrite it, so it becomes Elsie’s experience. I hope it will be as effective as it was originally.

I’m blogging about this novel partly to keep me motivated and not let my fears and doubts get in the way of finishing.

I also want to track my progress as I go, so I can repeat the process with the next novel in this series. Repetition makes learning new skills easier. Repetition also shows me where I can improve and maybe the next novel won’t take quite so long.

Finally, I’m blogging about the novel so that anyone following my progress will see that it doesn’t require perfection along the way to reach your dreams.

If you’re struggling to bring your creative dreams to life, pop over to my Facebook group. It’s an informal mastermind/accountability group for people who create.  

30 Day Blog Challenge

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On June 20, 2020

In Dream Big, Live Cheap

Today is Day 30 of the 30 Day Blog Challenge to create and publish a blog. I did it!

I signed up for this challenge because 1) it was free, and 2) I wanted to set up a blog for my retirement lifestyle. Specifically, I want to blog about my journey as a novel writer and as a quilter.

If you have thought about publishing a blog but just didn’t know how to go about it, I recommend taking this challenge. Go here for more details.

While the challenge is free, there is a cost to set up a blog. I set aside $500 for hosting and Constant Contact for the first year, but it can be done with less. The costs are lower if you commit to a longer contract for your hosting. This is good if you want to help yourself commit!

The 30 Day Blog Challenge community offers a Pro membership. There are new courses being added all the time. If you want to continue your journey in this community, plan for that cost as well.

The information in the challenge is solid. The course includes WordPress training as well as blog training – you’ll know how and what and why to do each step.

The support and feedback are excellent. It’s a bit scary to publish a personal blog but having the encouragement with each post I published gave me the motivation to keep going. Each time I had a technical question (I had a few!) I received help and more information within 24 hours.

My Results

Over 30 days I have a theme uploaded and customized, and I have learned more about WordPress. I have published 13 posts and created several pages. Now my task is to go back and edit those posts and pages to further refine the purpose of my blog.

I made valuable connections that will last past the 30-day challenge. In my Covid 19 self isolation lifestyle this is big deal!

I have an account with Constant Contact again. I was a Constant Contact Partner before I retired, and now I will be again. I have missed working with this system! If you have ever considered using Constant Contact, let me know. I’m happy to show you what it’s all about – and help you get a great deal too.

I have a rough plan to take me through to the end of the year. I have specific weekly, monthly, and annual goals – and an action plan to go with it. This is familiar from when I had my business – but I haven’t done this kind of planning since retiring my business.

Best of all, I have proof that I can quite easily commit to publishing regularly. I did it for the past 30 days, I can do it for the next 30 days, and the next. My takeaway is that I need small bite-sized goals and a chunk of non-negotiable writing time.

My Next Challenge

On Monday I am starting a new challenge to write 500 words a day on my novel. This challenge goes for 31 days, and at the end I will share how it went too.

It seems fitting that I do this challenge next, as the novel I’m rewriting now was first written in the NaNoWriMo challenge of 50,000 words in 30 days. I like a good challenge!

Why Challenges Work

Getting a head start on the technology is valuable. Knowing what to do and having the instructions for how to do it makes the work so much easier. There is less pressure when the options have been laid out for you. Fewer opportunities to second guess or allow doubts to stop you in your tracks.

Having someone on your side is powerful. Knowing that your efforts will be seen and encouraged takes a little bit of fear away. It’s ok to screw up today – you’ll get it right tomorrow. The 30 Day Challenge provides this kind of support.

Many people don’t have strong supporters and encouragement. Or they can’t trust them to be 100% unbiased. I highly recommend being part of a mastermind group to pick up where this challenge ends.

A mastermind group is 100% focused on your success as defined by you within the group. When done well, the group isn’t sidetracked by personal life events unless it is affecting your goals. You can get my Guide To Creating Your Mastermind Group by subscribing to my newsletter – the sign-up is on the right of this screen.

I am creating a private Facebook Group to provide a supportive and encouraging place for creative makers – hobbyists as well as business owners. It’s my version of an informal mastermind/accountability group. If you are interested in learning more about my group, get in touch with me.

Are you ready to take a challenge? If you want to publish a blog, check out the 30 Day Blog Challenge.

It’s a Sad Day

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On June 19, 2020

In Dream Big, Thinking Out Loud

I was hit with all kinds of doubts and fears this past week. I knew I was on the wrong track. I felt powerless. I had built up momentum on this track, I didn’t know how to shift that momentum to the right track.

My solution was to have a Sad Day.

What’s a Sad Day?

It’s not an acronym. It’s not a gimmick. It’s not a series of actions or exercises that magically make everything turn out right. It’s simply a day that I can feel sad.

Feeling our feelings is hard.

For people who have experienced trauma (isn’t that everyone?) allowing ourselves to fully feel any feeling can be terrifying. It can feel like a loss of control that will lead to complete destruction of the safe environment we’ve created. Feeling sadness can open the floodgates to overwhelming grief, anger, or depression.

Society still, even with all the progress we’ve made, tries to keep us from feeling our feelings. Or talking about them.

We try to push our feelings aside so we can examine them at a more convenient time. When that convenient time comes it’s often too late to process those feelings or act on them.

We pretend those feelings don’t exist. We think that if we admit to being sad, we are automatically labeled as depressed. Or manic because the day before we were overjoyed because something good happened.

I didn’t do any of those things this time. I decided to just have a Sad Day and let those feelings happen.

I gave myself permission to take the day off from being a happy responsible adult. I didn’t do the housecleaning or cooking or hobbies that I normally would do. I didn’t do anything productive that I normally would do.

Fortunately, I have a super supportive husband who understands Sad Days. When I told him I was taking a Sad Day, he picked up the slack where it was necessary. He knows I will do the same for him.

I wrote in my journal. I watched some Netflix. I wandered around doing nothing. I reveled in my sadness. I embraced my sadness. I listened to my sadness.

Sadness Has A Message For You

My sadness had a big message for me. In creating this blog, I followed a path laid out by others. I highly recommend learning by following an example, as it is a fast way to learn without distractions. But I forgot an important step. I didn’t pay enough attention to what I genuinely wanted to create.

My goal with this blog is to stay motivated as I write my novel. A second goal is to earn income. The recommended way to earn income quickly is to provide services. I agree with this recommendation…but it is not the ONLY way to earn income.

Copywriting and coaching services are great services and I can definitely provide them. In fact, up until 2018 that is what I provided. My Sad Day was a wake-up call that I had just recreated what I had retired in 2018 because it was not serving my purpose any more. Oops.

My Sad Day extended into the next day. I needed a little bit more time to fully integrate the message that I need to clearly define semi-retirement. There was a lot to discover after nearly 30 days on this right-turned-wrong track.

My husband, being the awesome man he is, started to nudge me along. It took him three tries to get me outside. Being outside almost always improves my mood! He built a fire in the firepit and we sat in front of the fire. He listened while I shared my discoveries. We talked about our goals as a retired couple, and how this blog/my novel fits into our shared lifestyle.

And then I went back to work. I started to re-define the blog purpose.

  • Not services.
  • Information and research – for my novel and for others.
  • Motivation – for myself and for others.
  • Recommendations for creative makers, to help them live the life they dream of.

Knowing my purpose makes it easier to identify my opportunities. How can I earn an income if the majority of my time is spent on writing and researching?

I can easily make recommendations for services or products that I have tested and researched. That’s affiliate marketing at its best. (At its worst, affiliates promote things they have no knowledge of, just to get a commission.)

I can easily use my research to write and sell ebooks that will be of value to others. I’m doing the work anyway, why not make it available? If it helps someone else to find their purpose, or to create a more successful business, that will be a bonus for me.

Today I am back on track. I have a plan to rewrite a few parts of my blog. I have my motivation back. It doesn’t feel daunting to do my daily goal. It feels exciting to move forward again.

We all need Sad Days. They give us insights into our own behaviours. They provide new opportunities to live our dreams.

The next time a Sad Day taps at your soul, stop and listen for the message. Find someone you can talk to once you hear the message. Sharing your discoveries can shine a light on new opportunities.

Let me know in the comments how you handle a Sad Day.

How To Design A Quilt Studio

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On June 7, 2020

In Dream Big, Fiction

I’m taking a break from marketing today. Instead here is a glimpse into the work that is going on behind the scenes with Live Cheap, Dream Big.

Elsie, the main character, is researching studio spaces. There are a ton of questions she needs to answer before she can create a design for a stand-alone studio.

  • What activities will she be doing there – long arm quilting, hand quilting, embroidery, fabric painting, teaching?
  • How many people will need to be accommodated for each activity?
  • Will she have machines available to rent to her customers? Where will she get them?
  • What kind of layout is needed to accommodate each activity?

My Writing Goal

My next writing goal is to start designing Elsie’s quilting studio. The first step is to outline the space and equipment she needs for the work she will do. I have a much longer list of questions than what I’ve shared here!

A little over a year ago my husband and I renovated the basement to make my sewing studio space. We worked within the space we had, but Elsie will be be building her studio from the ground up. She has the freedom to create whatever layout she wants. She can make it larger or smaller if she wants. So many choices!

Analysis Paralysis

Sometimes too many choices mean decisions are more difficult to make. Between indecision and big ideas causing scope creep, Elsie and Bert have a lot to discuss. Elsie will need to draw on some good resources to stay on track.

Is it extreme to approach this as if I am building a quilting studio in real life? Maybe. But I know how I felt when I read a novel about a woman who did all her garage sale shopping on a Monday. Cheated. Lied to. Betrayed even.

That author obviously did not do the research because any self-respecting garage saler knows that garage sales go from Thursday to Sunday (occasionally with an early start on Wednesday). Never on a Monday. Such a small detail, but the author lost me on that tiny detail. Years later I remember this small error – but I forget everything else about the book and author.

Harsh, I know. But also true.

Every detail is important.

It’s why I am starting over with this book. When I wrote the first draft, I was a newbie quilter. If I had tried to publish it, it would have been a flop. Any self-respecting quilter would know I didn’t have a clue about quilting!

Now I am more experienced. I know quilters who are professional long arm quilters. I know quilters who run stores. There is a new wealth of knowledge and details available to me now – and it all matters.

Asking Experts For Help

Elsie will talk to other professional quilters and business owners. She may even join a business mastermind. As a newbie business owner, she has a lot to learn – and her own experience will be valuable to other people.

When I am ready to have the next draft of Live Cheap, Dream Big reviewed, I will ask a few of those quilters to read it. They will spot any issues like my garage sale example. When the book is published, Elsie will be as real a person to readers as she is to me.

I’d love to hear about your experiences. If you’re a professional quilter, do you have tips for Elsie’s studio? If you’re a reader, has an author lost you because of a small detail like the garage sale error?

My #1 Tactic for Getting Around Fear

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On May 31, 2020

In Dream Big, Resources

Fear is a big obstacle for many people. Fear can stop us in our tracks. Fear can ruin our dreams.

Fear of success. Fear of failure. Fear that your secrets will be discovered. Fear of imperfection. Imposter Syndrome. The list could go on and on. In fact, there are so many ways that fear can derail us that I plan to write a lot more about it.

So how do we overcome fear? Good question – and there isn’t just one answer. But today I am sharing my number one solution to stop fear from stopping me.

Release The Fear

This is the ideal, isn’t it? Imagine how it would feel if you woke up one day and all your fear was magically gone! Sounds impossible…and it is. Too bad! But it IS possible to release one fear at a time.

Consider this acronym for F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real. Your fears are real, but what if they are based on inaccurate information?

Try it for yourself: choose a single fear, then look for evidence that this is a false assumption.

My Example of F.E.A.R.

I see a quilt pattern I like, so I buy the fabric and pattern to make it. I open the pattern instructions and I’m hit with fear that I can’t do this. It’s too complex. It’s too many steps. Some of the instructions are over my head. I’m convinced I can’t master this, so I throw it in the corner. I’m afraid I can’t do it. I’m afraid that if I try it, I’ll end up with a crappy result. People will point and laugh at my feeble attempts. (Wow, I’m really good at finding fears!)

Am I right? Let’s see.

  • Have I followed patterns before? Yes.
  • Have I followed difficult patterns before? Yes.
  • Have I had trouble with a pattern before? Yes.
  • Was I able to find help when I ran into trouble? Yes.
  • Can I follow the pattern one step at a time, instead of jumping ahead and getting lost? Yes. I might not like it, but I can slow down.
  • Have I mastered other quilting and sewing techniques? Yes. But I had crappy results until I mastered those techniques.
  • Can I make a sample block to see where I need to get help or figure out a technique? Yes.
  • Has anyone ever laughed at my efforts? Yes, actually. But I survived, and had a few laughs myself.
  • Is this fear real? Yes. Absolutely. Denying a fear is not at all helpful. But the evidence shows that I can do it anyway.

That leads me to one of the best resources I’ve ever used to release a fear. This book, “Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway”, written by Susan Jeffers. I re-read this book regularly, and every time I get something new from it.

Will you fix or remove fear forever?

Of course not! Fear is a natural part of being alive and an essential survival skill. Fear alerts us to look a little deeper, to be aware of the real danger. It is also an opportunity to look for possibilities. We can identify the dangers. We can put safeguards in place. We CAN succeed.

Let fear be your friend.

A word of warning. If you decide to look for a T.E.A.R. (True Evidence Actually Real), you will also find that. If you can’t avoid looking for this evidence, remember to also look for the opposite.

I recommend making a list of your successes. It is empowering to see just how many times you defeated your fears. You can take this a step further and write down at least three successes every day. It might look like “I combed my hair, I fed my cat, and I fed myself” some days, and that’s ok!

Dream big. Be afraid. Find your possibilities and go for it!

P.S. the link above is an affiliate link. If you click and buy this book, I may earn a small commission. Bonus: you will be giving me evidence that I can earn money with my writing – and I thank you for your support!

Why I Blog

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On May 26, 2020

In Dream Big, Thinking Out Loud

There’s something special about turning 50. For me, it was like flipping a switch. I suddenly felt I had permission to let go of all the restrictive behaviours I learned in the previous four decades.

I have been waiting for this decade all my life!

Turning 50 also had a few surprises. At 49 I ended up in the hospital with necrotizing pneumonia. If you know your Latin, you know that anything with “necrotizing” in the diagnosis is bad.

Nine days in the hospital, over 2 liters of fluid drained from my lungs, massive amounts of antibiotics, and then I was released. I was weak as a kitten. Walking more than a dozen steps was exhausting. Stay tuned, I have a story about this day that will likely end up in a novel!

Less than a month out of hospital I began experiencing stroke-like symptoms. Freaked me out. Freaked my husband out. Back to the emergency department. It turned out to be a benign meningioma and my neurosurgeon successfully removed it. Thank goodness it wasn’t cancer, but brain surgery is still no picnic.

While my health scares were treated quickly, the after effects have been a little hard to deal with. I also experienced childhood trauma, which didn’t make my more recent recovery any easier. I’m still healing.

Now here I am in my 50s. I am alive in the “me too” age, and I’m so grateful to see that trauma recovery resources are available to people of every age now.

Turning 50 was a turning point for me. After two health scares, and decades of fear around my childhood experience, I decided that enough is enough. Fear, I have realized, is the backside of excitement. Those butterflies in my stomach can stop me, or they can lift me up to new heights.

Today I give myself permission

  • To speak out when I have something to say.
  • To seek help when I need it.
  • To help others when I can.  
  • To follow my dreams.

Even when it is scary. Maybe ESPECIALLY when it is scary.

So why this blog?

When I retired my business in 2018, I expected to be happily retired with my husband. I expected to keep myself busy with new hobbies, like quilting and sewing. I expected to keep learning. And I have done all of that.

One thing I want to do in retirement is to write my novels. I’m not doing that. So this blog is my outside influence to help me stay on course.

I also created a private Facebook group. If you’ve ever felt you could achieve your big dreams if you only had a little support and encouragement, come on over and join me there. It’s an informal mastermind group, with “get-it-done” days, and opportunities to share ideas.

What would you create in your life if you didn’t let fear get in the way?

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