We’re told to “find your purpose” and to “live on purpose” and then our lives will be fulfilling. But that can be frustrating when we aren’t sure of what our purpose is! What does “finding your purpose” mean, and how do we do it?

I find my purpose through my emotions. Emotions are a great indicator of when you’re on the right or wrong track. If you’re struggling to find your purpose, take a few minutes and make a Purpose List. You might want to use a spreadsheet for this (if that’s your thing!) but a piece of paper works just as well.

Label the columns across the top:

  • Activity
  • People
  • Place
  • Technology/Tools
  • Rating
  • <Leave the last column blank>

Fill In Your List

Under the Activity label, list all the activities that can put you in the zone, where you lose track of time and you feel peaceful when you finish the activity.

Under the People label, note how many people are involved. In my list, most of the activities that can put me in the zone are solitary, it’s just me. A stage performer might need a cheering audience, stagehands, and fellow performers.

Under the Place label, note the physical environment for each activity. You may need to list several places when the activity, photography as an example, can be done in lots of places. On my list, quilting is done primarily in my quilting studio. I can hand sew in another location – I can take it with me when I’m camping, or work on it from the family room with the tv on, or take it along when I am visiting a friend.

Under the Technology/Tools label, note the equipment needed for the activity. For quilting I need a sewing machine, sewing tools and supplies, and possibly software for quilting or embroidery. Gardening requires gardening tools, fertilizer, seeds, garden space, etc.

Rate Your Activities

Once you’ve listed all the activities you enjoy add your rating using a scale of 1 to 5.

A rating of 1 means you would find a way to do the activity no matter what, because it is essential to you. Does an activity make you feel peaceful? Bring you joy? Make you lose track of time? Those should be rated as a 1, 2 or 3.

A rating of 4 or 5 means you enjoy the activity, but it isn’t a high priority right now.

I rate writing as a 1 because it’s something I have done all my life and life would not be worth living if I couldn’t do it. I rate sewing clothing for myself as a 5 because I want the end result, but I can’t produce it yet.

Why Not?

Now for that unlabeled column. Label this one “Why Not?” This is where you get to dig a little deeper. Give yourself more than a few minutes to complete this part.

Look at each activity and think about why you don’t spend more time doing it. Maybe you don’t have time, or you don’t have money to buy supplies or equipment, or you don’t have the space available. Those are easy things to spot.

Now dig into those emotional clues. Does an activity cause you frustration? Sadness? Fear? Embarrassment? You’ll want to dig deeper into those ones.

Maybe you have family members (including pets!) who interrupt your favorite activity which causes so much frustration that you stop the activity. In my case, when my cat wants me to take her outside for some play time, she will jump on the tables in my quilt studio or scratch on the furniture. She knows she isn’t allowed to do those things, but she also knows that she will get my attention that way. My first option is to give her treats on her perch. If that doesn’t cue her to curl up and nap, I end up taking her outside.

Another example for me is sewing clothing for myself. I really want to sew my own clothing, but I get angry and frustrated when my efforts don’t result in a flattering, well-fitting piece of clothing. In my Why Not column I list time, skill, and knowledge. I have taken classes and I have worked with several informal mentors. I watch You Tube videos and read books to learn. What I haven’t done is take the time to practice the techniques and develop my skill.

Evaluation

Now that you have filled in your Purpose list, evaluate it. How many activities are rated at 1? Can you possibly do all those things within the time you have available? How many are rated as 5? What would you need to do to change the fives to a 1, 2 or 3?

If you decide a 5 rated activity will never make it to at least a 2 rating, it’s not likely to be part of your life purpose. Give yourself permission to let it go. How does that feel? Is there a sense of relief?

Now give yourself permission to focus the time and energy you’ve released from that 5 rated activity on a 1 activity. If you feel a renewed excitement, you’re on the right track. If, however, you feel sadness or even grief at giving up the 5 activity, re-evaluate it. Maybe it’s actually a 3.

Developing a stronger awareness of emotions is an excellent tool for discovering your purpose. Evaluating your interests and rating them gives you insight into the activities that resonate most strongly.

Being able to prioritize your top interests can be life changing. Many of us fall into the trap of thinking we must do it all, right now. That’s not true. We may have responsibilities that are essential, but we also have time to focus on our own purpose. If we don’t have time to focus on all our interests now, we can set some aside until we can focus on them.

Giving yourself permission to let go of some activities – not forever but at least for short term – can also be motivating. I had an interest in quilting for many years, but I set it aside until I had the time and the money to be able to do it. Now I enjoy it that much more because I’ve had all those years to anticipate the fun I would have someday.

Ready to live your life on purpose now? Go for it!

If you’d like my help to create your Purpose List, get in touch with me. I’m happy to help.