Live Cheap Dream Big

Living the dream on a shoestring budget

Author: bonnietw Page 1 of 2

What Good Are Crappy First Drafts?

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On September 4, 2022

In Fiction

The first draft of my novel is crap. Serious crap. It’s not even editable. All I gained with the first draft is the chance to tell the story to myself – and to one beta reader, which was kind of a mistake even though she was a very kind and encouraging reader. Having someone read my story too soon gave me the idea that I had to commit to what I had written – when in fact I need to scrap pretty much the entire first draft. In an odd way I felt like I would be letting down the one beta reader if I made too many changes to the story.

Note to self: never let anyone read my fiction until it is past the third draft!

Always Be Learning

…and be willing to change things up! The image I used in this post is a quilt I’m making – I followed a pattern, but when I laid it out I wasn’t happy with it. I changed things around a bit and now I love the layout. I use my design wall a lot with every quilt to try different layouts before choosing what I like. This is a good reminder to me that even when I think I know what I’m doing, I need to be open to change. That applies to writing as well as quilting.

Now that I have that first crappy draft out of the way, the real work begins. Since I wrote that first draft I’ve learned a few things. Like how to quilt. That will make a huge difference to this particular story. I have learned that developing a plot is a good thing. That’s where I am starting with the second draft. Laying out the overall plot, identifying specific scenes, developing a timeline, and a few more of the mechanics of telling a story. I know there is a lot for me to learn as I go.

Real Characters

One important part that has come out of the first draft is the characters. They are always on my mind. As I’m choosing fabric or a pattern for a new quilt I’m imagining what Elsie would say about it and whether she would approve of my choices. As I rearrange the furniture in my sewing room I hear Bert’s opinions on my storage and workstations. I feel like I’m getting to know them better as I work out how to write the next draft. Things are beginning to shift – at first I was imagining and creating a story and now I feel like I am transcribing a story my characters are telling me. The next draft will have real characters.

Creatives Need Community

My first draft taught me that creativity is increased when I am surrounded by other creatives. In learning to quilt I became part of a quilting community. That creative community has encouraged me, challenged me, and welcomed me. Community is crucial. What I need with writing is similar.

Isolation is a dream killer

Barbara Sher

I need to learn the mechanics of writing, and I need to practice a lot, and I need a writing community to encourage, challenge and welcome me. I have joined in with writers in my local area and I have connected with creatives online. I’m excited to see my writing community developing around me.

Motivation vs Discipline

I have learned that discipline is far more effective than motivation. When I wait to be motivated to write, it doesn’t happen very often. If I rely on discipline then things get done. I use a lot of tools to support being disciplined and sometimes they work – sometimes not so much. What I know is that discipline is simply a choice I make on a regular basis. Each time I choose yes to the goal, I build the habit of discipline.

Last week I committed to a small daily goal of writing for a minimum of 20 minutes. So far I have been writing for more than 20 minutes a day. Today, for example, I continued after the 20 minutes was up and I ended up writing a scene that is about 1500 words. Then I decided to write this post.

This is different from other times when I thought I had committed to something – but then failed to keep up the commitment. This time I am consciously thinking about my commitment each day, and making a choice each day. Each day I have the option to say yes to my commitment, or I can say no. I can test each day to find out if I am truly committed to my goal. So far I am.

If I start regularly answering no to my commitment, I can re-examine what I really want. Goals change. If I’m saying no to something I used to say yes to, it’s time to choose something that is more aligned to my new goal.

I like the freedom of choosing every day. There is no judgement about failure, no need for negative self talk. It’s simply a question I answer each day…do I want to finish writing this book? If the answer is yes, I go write for a minimum of 20 minutes. And I get to feel good about 1) having choice, 2) knowing I am choosing what I want even if I change what I want, 3) eliminating the need to beat myself up for not meeting expectations.

Next…NaNoWriMo

This discipline is good practice for NaNoWriMo. I haven’t participated in NaNoWriMo for a few years, but the book I’m working on now was first written during a NaNoWriMo challenge. Part of the reason for the really crappy first draft is that I didn’t know what the story was and in an effort to meet the word count I took the story on some pretty odd tangents. This year I’m going to try something different. I’m going to make a plan ahead of November. Right now I think I will be working on Elsie’s story, but that could change between now and November. I’ll keep you posted!

Comment if you’re going to join in on NaNoWriMo this year, maybe I’ll see you in that community. Or comment if this post has sparked something you’d like to share here.

What’s a WIP?

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On June 7, 2021

In Dream Big

I wanted to post some of the quilts I have been working on but it turns out I haven’t FINISHED a lot! I do have several WIPs though.

What’s a WIP? A Work In Progress. Having a WIP means I can let go of the need to only see progress in a finished item. As long as I am working on something, I AM making progress. And progress is enough. So here are a few of my WIPs.

Morning Glory

I bought the kit, because I was new to quilting and didn’t know how to calculate fabric requirements. I still don’t actually…I just buy as much pretty fabric as I can afford and then wail later when I use it and realize I am 1/4 metre short.

This kit sat in my sewing room for a couple of years. I thought those corners were just too complicated and I was afraid to tackle it. Until Covid. Nothing to lose when you’re Covid Quilting!

Turns out the corners weren’t so difficult after all. Funny how that works out. I followed the pattern, used up my fabrics with a little left over, and now it is ready to quilt.

Friends Quilt Together

This one started off with a block exchange with my quilt guild. The center blocks are the ones that I received.

This is one of the first quilts I’ve designed. I was challenged by the block with the orange fabric. It really stands out, and I learned a lot about how colour can make a block come forward or move to the background. In the end I added an orange zinger around the center to balance the boldness, and lighter friendship stars in two corners to bring the eye around the quilt. I also added in some darker fabric in borders and sashing to give the eye a rest.

I’m really happy with it, and I can’t wait to get it quilted!

Wing and a Prayer

This was also a Covid Quilt. I had a jelly roll of batik browns in my stash (2 1/2″ strips cut the width of the fabric).

I found a free pattern online that I liked, but it called for 3 1/2″ strips. This is where the “wing and a prayer” name came from. I winged the design, and ended up with this. It may still get a bit more added to the top and bottom to make it a bit bigger.

All in all, I think I am happy with my progress! I have a few more WIPs on the shelf but I will post them later.

How do you measure your progress? If it is only in the finishes, I highly recommend taking another look at your WIPs. We are all Works In Progress, and each step brings us a new lesson or an opportunity to polish a skill. How beautiful is that?

What Happened To My Inspiration?

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On October 29, 2020

In Dream Big, Thinking Out Loud

October is not my favorite month. In Alberta, the weather is cooling, the trees have lost most of their leaves, and things start to feel drab and colorless. And I lose my inspiration. Normally I am an optimistic person. I look for the positive in any situation. I try to see the humour in any situation.

The fall and winter months are always a challenge. Staying optimistic is hard enough at the best of times, and when my surroundings don’t inspire me, I start looking for other ways to be optimistic. Usually inspiration follows close behind.

Gratitude

If you’ve never experienced a gratitude practice, now is a great time to start. Each day think of three things that you are grateful for. You can write them down or make a game with someone else. Try to come up with something different each day. You may be grateful for something specific every day, but the point is to come up with a lot of things to be grateful for.

If you are able to capture your gratitude in a journal, on post it notes that you stick on a window, in a Day Book,  or in some other way, you can go back for inspiration when you’re having a particularly uninspired day.

Bonus: A regular gratitude practice will increase your overall life satisfaction. Google “proof that gratitude works” for the science behind it.

Hobbies

What is a hobby? One definition is “an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure”. I think people get caught up in the idea that hobbies are crafty things that you do with your kids or grandkids. Visions of macaroni glued to a paper plate, anyone? Not so. It can be ANY activity.

Many hobbies are creative, like quilting, needlework, woodworking, welding, painting, drawing, model building, and pottery. But it doesn’t have to produce anything, other than pleasure!

Watching movies might be your thing. Bird watching can include a love of cataloging and documenting local birds, or researching and planning a vacation to see birds that aren’t native to the area. Foodies are always on the hunt for a great new recipe or restaurant.

Sports are a double bonus – exercise brings both emotional and physical aspects of health into play. Pun intended!

A hobby should inspire you, make you feel good, and even relax you. Want proof? Google “proof that hobbies are good for you” for the science behind it.

One more reason to develop hobbies while you are young – it has been shown that people who retire with hobbies to look forward to may have a happier (and sometimes longer) retirement.

If you don’t have a hobby, I highly recommend you get one – or a dozen. If you try a hobby and hate it, try a different one until you find something you enjoy.

Help Someone Else

Volunteering is proven to provide many benefits for the volunteer. By helping someone else, you help yourself to be more self confident and happier.

Don’t know where or what to volunteer? Think about the things you enjoy doing. If you love dogs, volunteer to walk a senior’s dog a few times a week, or when they are not feeling up to a walk. Or volunteer at a local shelter or vet clinic. If you enjoy driving, volunteer to drive someone who doesn’t have a vehicle. Start a carpool with your coworkers.

Can’t afford to volunteer? Look into paid options. Being paid for helping someone doesn’t cancel out the benefit!

Teaching or coaching is a great way to help people. The technology is available easily now to create and offer training courses online. This is a great option if you have a knack for explaining how to do something, and you are patient as people are learning. Coaches are found in all areas now, not just sports. There are garden coaches, life coaches, art coaches, and more.

Word of warning: Don’t over-commit yourself. That is a sure path to burnout.

Try Something New

If you have slipped into a funk, learn something new. It will boost you out of a rut, get the wheels turning in your mind, and you may even discover a new hobby or career.

It’s easy for our brains to settle into a rut, it’s the safe path and our brains like to keep us safe. But we all know that “safe” can also be “boring”. Add a little adventure to your life to shake up your brain a bit and let me know in the comments how it goes!

Now I’m Inspired!

I have inspired myself to get moving and create something. Today I think I will tackle that sweater I began sewing a few weeks ago and stopped when I ran into a difficult decision. I’m ready to take it on now!

Or maybe I will use the image from this post to make a landscape art quilt. The possibilities are endless!

Are you inspired? Share in the comments what you do to get re-inspired.

Tips For Traumatic Medical Appointments

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On October 15, 2020

In Resources, Thinking Out Loud

I have a dentist appointment today. Like many people, I freak out at the dentist.

Who Wouldn’t Be Afraid?

I am powerless and someone is going to hurt me, and I have no control over that.

Gaining control over my fear is something I do have power over. It’s not easy, but it’s possible. I have had help in coming up with a plan for today, and I will do my best to follow the plan.

This appointment is at a teaching clinic. During the initial “get to know me” appointment, I shared ALL of the trauma that contributed to my TMJ issues. No details, just that certain kinds of trauma happened. One trauma was a surprise to the student dentist, and I am quite sure that information was shared among the other students.

In fact, I hope it was shared. It is important to know how to deal with patients who have been traumatized. Be assured that it will come up at some point. I am honoured to be a “teaching patient”.

His response to me was excellent…and incomplete. He classified this trauma as a psychological trauma rather than physical trauma to the jaw (which is all I was sharing). His expectation is that the psychological trauma will cause me to feel pain differently than someone who has not been traumatized. And that I will have anxiety issues. These two assumptions may (are probably) correct. But my point was that there have been multiple physical traumas to my jaw and that information is essential to forming a complete picture, which will lead to the most effective treatment.

I wrote this post because I realize that my experiences can help others. I am late to the game in learning coping strategies that are really effective. Up until a few years ago I believed my only solution was grit my teeth and get through it…which may explain some of that TMJ problem! There are better options for traumatized patients, and I truly believe that the medical community wants to understand how to help us too.

Tips For Student Doctors

DO ask more questions when you get to a sensitive topic to ensure that you understand the patient. Traumatized people often need compassionate encouragement to fully express some things. I don’t think I fully expressed the fact that it was physical trauma I was reporting, and that the psychological trauma is something I am successfully addressing elsewhere. Being heard is a relief to many traumatized patients.

DO respect the patient’s choices. Your patient may opt not to answer and that’s ok. For some patients, explaining only increases their anxiety.

PRO TIP: offer the patient the choice not to answer.

Tips For All Medical Students

DO absorb the trauma information that has been shared. Don’t take on the trauma. Your job is not to be a therapist (unless that is the profession you’ve chosen!). Your patient doesn’t need your sympathy, they need to know you have the information to treat them effectively.

DO adjust your treatment of the patient accordingly. Be sensitive to the idea that your treatment may trigger a traumatic response. It’s not about you. You can help by understanding this and not taking it personally. For me, a clinical approach (“just the facts, ma’am”!) really helps. For others, it may be different.

DO ask your instructors for help if you’re unsure how to help a traumatized patient. Consider doing some role play scenarios with your fellow students to practice.

DO ask the patient how you can best support them today. Accept that they might not know immediately how you can support them. Let them know you will listen if they choose to speak up later.

DO NOT use the patient’s disclosure as a springboard for sharing your traumatic experiences. Your patient is already dealing with their own traumas, they do not need to (and can not) process yours. They are not being rude; they simply don’t have the bandwidth for anything more. If they were not already dealing with their own crap, chances are that they would want to be a compassionate listener for you. PLEASE DO get help from a qualified therapist if that will be helpful to you.

UNDERSTAND that your patient needs to be “selfish”, to focus all their attention on their coping strategies during the appointment.

DO be gentle with yourself. We are all learning. If you feel you made a mistake, acknowledge it, learn how to do better next time, and move on. If you need help, ask your instructors. You can even ask your patients for feedback, if you give them the option to not answer if they don’t feel comfortable.

Tips For The Medical Community

DO expect to deal with a lot of traumatized patients. They are everywhere. I expect every medical professional has had a traumatized patient that was a challenge to treat. Hats off to you for continuing the work you do.

DO educate yourselves. A ton of resources are available now that were not available a decade or more ago. Learn about ACEs, Adverse Childhood Experiences. Here is one resource: https://www.albertafamilywellness.org/what-we-know/aces.  Read The Deepest Well https://amzn.to/341rk9y (affiliate link) by Nadine Burke Harris, M.D. I’m confident that the medical community has access to many more resources for treating traumatized (aka “difficult”) patients.

PRO TIP: share resources you find helpful with your medical community. Share (respecting privacy of course!) experiences and strategies for supporting your traumatized patients.

DO ask how you can best support a patient who discloses trauma to you. Ask them how you can support them to get through the appointment. Don’t be surprised if they don’t have an answer right away and tap you on the arm 15 minutes later with an answer.

Tips For Traumatized Patients

This is your appointment. This is your time. Do whatever you need to do to cope with the anxiety, the fear, and whatever else is happening. You do not need to apologize for being a “difficult” patient, it’s not your fault you’re emotionally overloaded.

DO tell the medical staff what you will be/are experiencing (anxiety, zoning out, dissociation, etc.).

DO tell the medical staff what you need (frequent breaks from dental treatment, instructions written down in case you’ve missed something because you zoned out, specific help with grounding – like the doctor saying your name and checking in with you, etc.).

DO give the medical staff the opportunity to help you. If they didn’t care about you, they never would have gone into a medical profession. Make this assumption until proven wrong…if you’re wrong, find a different professional.

DO get help from your own support people to make a plan for coping before you get to the appointment.

Above all, give yourself a high five. You can do this. I believe in you.

Share Your Comments

Do you have coping strategies for scary situations? Consider sharing them in the comments. Your strategy might be the perfect one to someone who really needs it.

How To Let Your Emotions Lead You To Your Purpose

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On August 19, 2020

In Dream Big

We’re told to “find your purpose” and to “live on purpose” and then our lives will be fulfilling. But that can be frustrating when we aren’t sure of what our purpose is! What does “finding your purpose” mean, and how do we do it?

I find my purpose through my emotions. Emotions are a great indicator of when you’re on the right or wrong track. If you’re struggling to find your purpose, take a few minutes and make a Purpose List. You might want to use a spreadsheet for this (if that’s your thing!) but a piece of paper works just as well.

Label the columns across the top:

  • Activity
  • People
  • Place
  • Technology/Tools
  • Rating
  • <Leave the last column blank>

Fill In Your List

Under the Activity label, list all the activities that can put you in the zone, where you lose track of time and you feel peaceful when you finish the activity.

Under the People label, note how many people are involved. In my list, most of the activities that can put me in the zone are solitary, it’s just me. A stage performer might need a cheering audience, stagehands, and fellow performers.

Under the Place label, note the physical environment for each activity. You may need to list several places when the activity, photography as an example, can be done in lots of places. On my list, quilting is done primarily in my quilting studio. I can hand sew in another location – I can take it with me when I’m camping, or work on it from the family room with the tv on, or take it along when I am visiting a friend.

Under the Technology/Tools label, note the equipment needed for the activity. For quilting I need a sewing machine, sewing tools and supplies, and possibly software for quilting or embroidery. Gardening requires gardening tools, fertilizer, seeds, garden space, etc.

Rate Your Activities

Once you’ve listed all the activities you enjoy add your rating using a scale of 1 to 5.

A rating of 1 means you would find a way to do the activity no matter what, because it is essential to you. Does an activity make you feel peaceful? Bring you joy? Make you lose track of time? Those should be rated as a 1, 2 or 3.

A rating of 4 or 5 means you enjoy the activity, but it isn’t a high priority right now.

I rate writing as a 1 because it’s something I have done all my life and life would not be worth living if I couldn’t do it. I rate sewing clothing for myself as a 5 because I want the end result, but I can’t produce it yet.

Why Not?

Now for that unlabeled column. Label this one “Why Not?” This is where you get to dig a little deeper. Give yourself more than a few minutes to complete this part.

Look at each activity and think about why you don’t spend more time doing it. Maybe you don’t have time, or you don’t have money to buy supplies or equipment, or you don’t have the space available. Those are easy things to spot.

Now dig into those emotional clues. Does an activity cause you frustration? Sadness? Fear? Embarrassment? You’ll want to dig deeper into those ones.

Maybe you have family members (including pets!) who interrupt your favorite activity which causes so much frustration that you stop the activity. In my case, when my cat wants me to take her outside for some play time, she will jump on the tables in my quilt studio or scratch on the furniture. She knows she isn’t allowed to do those things, but she also knows that she will get my attention that way. My first option is to give her treats on her perch. If that doesn’t cue her to curl up and nap, I end up taking her outside.

Another example for me is sewing clothing for myself. I really want to sew my own clothing, but I get angry and frustrated when my efforts don’t result in a flattering, well-fitting piece of clothing. In my Why Not column I list time, skill, and knowledge. I have taken classes and I have worked with several informal mentors. I watch You Tube videos and read books to learn. What I haven’t done is take the time to practice the techniques and develop my skill.

Evaluation

Now that you have filled in your Purpose list, evaluate it. How many activities are rated at 1? Can you possibly do all those things within the time you have available? How many are rated as 5? What would you need to do to change the fives to a 1, 2 or 3?

If you decide a 5 rated activity will never make it to at least a 2 rating, it’s not likely to be part of your life purpose. Give yourself permission to let it go. How does that feel? Is there a sense of relief?

Now give yourself permission to focus the time and energy you’ve released from that 5 rated activity on a 1 activity. If you feel a renewed excitement, you’re on the right track. If, however, you feel sadness or even grief at giving up the 5 activity, re-evaluate it. Maybe it’s actually a 3.

Developing a stronger awareness of emotions is an excellent tool for discovering your purpose. Evaluating your interests and rating them gives you insight into the activities that resonate most strongly.

Being able to prioritize your top interests can be life changing. Many of us fall into the trap of thinking we must do it all, right now. That’s not true. We may have responsibilities that are essential, but we also have time to focus on our own purpose. If we don’t have time to focus on all our interests now, we can set some aside until we can focus on them.

Giving yourself permission to let go of some activities – not forever but at least for short term – can also be motivating. I had an interest in quilting for many years, but I set it aside until I had the time and the money to be able to do it. Now I enjoy it that much more because I’ve had all those years to anticipate the fun I would have someday.

Ready to live your life on purpose now? Go for it!

If you’d like my help to create your Purpose List, get in touch with me. I’m happy to help.

Novel Update: Scenes 1-3

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On June 23, 2020

In Dream Big, Fiction

I joined Jeff Goins 500 Words a Day challenge on Monday. The goal is to write 500 words a day for 31 days. Just writing, no editing. I only discovered this challenge a few days ago but it has been going on for several years already. When a good thing starts it’s hard to stop it!

I use Scrivener for writing novels, and there is a handy tool that tracks my writing progress each day. Yesterday it showed about 1,000 words written. I probably deleted that many too! Anyway, I can say I made progress and met the challenge of 500 words.

I’m not sure how this will play out, as my novel is in the second draft stage. A lot of my work is editing and rewriting. I can write 500 words every day even if it isn’t exactly according to the challenge. One thing that the challenge does is motivate me to work on the novel every day. I have not been doing that for the last year, even though I want to finish this story and move on to the next story in the series.

When I wrote the first draft of Live Cheap Dream Big, I was really focused on the 50,000 word count to meet the NaNoWriMo challenge. I did well with the first half of the story and then it went off at such a crazy tangent that I gave up in disgust. I did meet the NaNoWriMo challenge though!

This book sat in a corner for several years. When I dusted it off and reread it, I decided it still had potential. I spent a few days considering how I could salvage the initial story and eventually it landed in the corner again.

Elsie taps me on the shoulder every now and then asking if I’m ready to try again. Yesterday I was. I have the first two scenes edited. Yay! The first pass through the novel this time is to pull the story line together. Once I have that done I will go through it again to polish it. Then, hopefully, it will be ready for a professional editor to take a crack at it.

Excerpt From Live Cheap, Dream Big

This is a short excerpt from the novel. Post in the comments and let me know what you think. Be constructive and kind please!

Scene Three

Today I move on to the third scene.

Scene three originated from a short story I wrote about an actual event. I added it to the novel about a year ago. It’s written in first person. Today I will rewrite it, so it becomes Elsie’s experience. I hope it will be as effective as it was originally.

I’m blogging about this novel partly to keep me motivated and not let my fears and doubts get in the way of finishing.

I also want to track my progress as I go, so I can repeat the process with the next novel in this series. Repetition makes learning new skills easier. Repetition also shows me where I can improve and maybe the next novel won’t take quite so long.

Finally, I’m blogging about the novel so that anyone following my progress will see that it doesn’t require perfection along the way to reach your dreams.

If you’re struggling to bring your creative dreams to life, pop over to my Facebook group. It’s an informal mastermind/accountability group for people who create.  

30 Day Blog Challenge

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On June 20, 2020

In Dream Big, Live Cheap

Today is Day 30 of the 30 Day Blog Challenge to create and publish a blog. I did it!

I signed up for this challenge because 1) it was free, and 2) I wanted to set up a blog for my retirement lifestyle. Specifically, I want to blog about my journey as a novel writer and as a quilter.

If you have thought about publishing a blog but just didn’t know how to go about it, I recommend taking this challenge. Go here for more details.

While the challenge is free, there is a cost to set up a blog. I set aside $500 for hosting and Constant Contact for the first year, but it can be done with less. The costs are lower if you commit to a longer contract for your hosting. This is good if you want to help yourself commit!

The 30 Day Blog Challenge community offers a Pro membership. There are new courses being added all the time. If you want to continue your journey in this community, plan for that cost as well.

The information in the challenge is solid. The course includes WordPress training as well as blog training – you’ll know how and what and why to do each step.

The support and feedback are excellent. It’s a bit scary to publish a personal blog but having the encouragement with each post I published gave me the motivation to keep going. Each time I had a technical question (I had a few!) I received help and more information within 24 hours.

My Results

Over 30 days I have a theme uploaded and customized, and I have learned more about WordPress. I have published 13 posts and created several pages. Now my task is to go back and edit those posts and pages to further refine the purpose of my blog.

I made valuable connections that will last past the 30-day challenge. In my Covid 19 self isolation lifestyle this is big deal!

I have an account with Constant Contact again. I was a Constant Contact Partner before I retired, and now I will be again. I have missed working with this system! If you have ever considered using Constant Contact, let me know. I’m happy to show you what it’s all about – and help you get a great deal too.

I have a rough plan to take me through to the end of the year. I have specific weekly, monthly, and annual goals – and an action plan to go with it. This is familiar from when I had my business – but I haven’t done this kind of planning since retiring my business.

Best of all, I have proof that I can quite easily commit to publishing regularly. I did it for the past 30 days, I can do it for the next 30 days, and the next. My takeaway is that I need small bite-sized goals and a chunk of non-negotiable writing time.

My Next Challenge

On Monday I am starting a new challenge to write 500 words a day on my novel. This challenge goes for 31 days, and at the end I will share how it went too.

It seems fitting that I do this challenge next, as the novel I’m rewriting now was first written in the NaNoWriMo challenge of 50,000 words in 30 days. I like a good challenge!

Why Challenges Work

Getting a head start on the technology is valuable. Knowing what to do and having the instructions for how to do it makes the work so much easier. There is less pressure when the options have been laid out for you. Fewer opportunities to second guess or allow doubts to stop you in your tracks.

Having someone on your side is powerful. Knowing that your efforts will be seen and encouraged takes a little bit of fear away. It’s ok to screw up today – you’ll get it right tomorrow. The 30 Day Challenge provides this kind of support.

Many people don’t have strong supporters and encouragement. Or they can’t trust them to be 100% unbiased. I highly recommend being part of a mastermind group to pick up where this challenge ends.

A mastermind group is 100% focused on your success as defined by you within the group. When done well, the group isn’t sidetracked by personal life events unless it is affecting your goals. You can get my Guide To Creating Your Mastermind Group by subscribing to my newsletter – the sign-up is on the right of this screen.

I am creating a private Facebook Group to provide a supportive and encouraging place for creative makers – hobbyists as well as business owners. It’s my version of an informal mastermind/accountability group. If you are interested in learning more about my group, get in touch with me.

Are you ready to take a challenge? If you want to publish a blog, check out the 30 Day Blog Challenge.

It’s a Sad Day

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On June 19, 2020

In Dream Big, Thinking Out Loud

I was hit with all kinds of doubts and fears this past week. I knew I was on the wrong track. I felt powerless. I had built up momentum on this track, I didn’t know how to shift that momentum to the right track.

My solution was to have a Sad Day.

What’s a Sad Day?

It’s not an acronym. It’s not a gimmick. It’s not a series of actions or exercises that magically make everything turn out right. It’s simply a day that I can feel sad.

Feeling our feelings is hard.

For people who have experienced trauma (isn’t that everyone?) allowing ourselves to fully feel any feeling can be terrifying. It can feel like a loss of control that will lead to complete destruction of the safe environment we’ve created. Feeling sadness can open the floodgates to overwhelming grief, anger, or depression.

Society still, even with all the progress we’ve made, tries to keep us from feeling our feelings. Or talking about them.

We try to push our feelings aside so we can examine them at a more convenient time. When that convenient time comes it’s often too late to process those feelings or act on them.

We pretend those feelings don’t exist. We think that if we admit to being sad, we are automatically labeled as depressed. Or manic because the day before we were overjoyed because something good happened.

I didn’t do any of those things this time. I decided to just have a Sad Day and let those feelings happen.

I gave myself permission to take the day off from being a happy responsible adult. I didn’t do the housecleaning or cooking or hobbies that I normally would do. I didn’t do anything productive that I normally would do.

Fortunately, I have a super supportive husband who understands Sad Days. When I told him I was taking a Sad Day, he picked up the slack where it was necessary. He knows I will do the same for him.

I wrote in my journal. I watched some Netflix. I wandered around doing nothing. I reveled in my sadness. I embraced my sadness. I listened to my sadness.

Sadness Has A Message For You

My sadness had a big message for me. In creating this blog, I followed a path laid out by others. I highly recommend learning by following an example, as it is a fast way to learn without distractions. But I forgot an important step. I didn’t pay enough attention to what I genuinely wanted to create.

My goal with this blog is to stay motivated as I write my novel. A second goal is to earn income. The recommended way to earn income quickly is to provide services. I agree with this recommendation…but it is not the ONLY way to earn income.

Copywriting and coaching services are great services and I can definitely provide them. In fact, up until 2018 that is what I provided. My Sad Day was a wake-up call that I had just recreated what I had retired in 2018 because it was not serving my purpose any more. Oops.

My Sad Day extended into the next day. I needed a little bit more time to fully integrate the message that I need to clearly define semi-retirement. There was a lot to discover after nearly 30 days on this right-turned-wrong track.

My husband, being the awesome man he is, started to nudge me along. It took him three tries to get me outside. Being outside almost always improves my mood! He built a fire in the firepit and we sat in front of the fire. He listened while I shared my discoveries. We talked about our goals as a retired couple, and how this blog/my novel fits into our shared lifestyle.

And then I went back to work. I started to re-define the blog purpose.

  • Not services.
  • Information and research – for my novel and for others.
  • Motivation – for myself and for others.
  • Recommendations for creative makers, to help them live the life they dream of.

Knowing my purpose makes it easier to identify my opportunities. How can I earn an income if the majority of my time is spent on writing and researching?

I can easily make recommendations for services or products that I have tested and researched. That’s affiliate marketing at its best. (At its worst, affiliates promote things they have no knowledge of, just to get a commission.)

I can easily use my research to write and sell ebooks that will be of value to others. I’m doing the work anyway, why not make it available? If it helps someone else to find their purpose, or to create a more successful business, that will be a bonus for me.

Today I am back on track. I have a plan to rewrite a few parts of my blog. I have my motivation back. It doesn’t feel daunting to do my daily goal. It feels exciting to move forward again.

We all need Sad Days. They give us insights into our own behaviours. They provide new opportunities to live our dreams.

The next time a Sad Day taps at your soul, stop and listen for the message. Find someone you can talk to once you hear the message. Sharing your discoveries can shine a light on new opportunities.

Let me know in the comments how you handle a Sad Day.

Why I Make Myself Obsolete

By

On June 12, 2020

In Marketing

Before I semi-retired I specialized in email marketing. I helped clients create newsletter content plans that worked across all their marketing channels. I created their templates. I wrote content for them.

Then I made myself obsolete. I showed them how to handle it on their own.

Knowledge Is Power

There are two sides to this statement. One side says keep all your knowledge to yourself, so you can be essential and more in demand. This point of view is restrictive, based on fear and scarcity.

The other side says sharing your knowledge is more powerful. This point of view is expansive, based on trust and abundance.

You can guess which side I’m on. I believe knowledge is far more powerful when it can be used. When I can share some of my knowledge and help someone else be more successful, the net value of that knowledge increases.

Knowledge kept secret is about as useful as a fabric stash that is never used. That fabric is pretty on the shelf but has no other purpose. Take it out and make a quilt with it, and you have created so much more than just a pretty thing. You have something that can wrap a person with love and warmth.

Knowledge Has Value

The more you know, the more you can do. I became an expert in ezines because I was curious and interested. The more I knew, the more I wanted to learn. The more I knew, the more I was perceived as an expert. The more I was perceived as an expert, the more people asked me questions that I was able to answer.

Here’s the big takeaway. The more I shared, the more I learned! No matter how much I “gave away”, I always gained a little too. I gained a stronger understanding of how my knowledge could be used. I could see where people were likely to struggle – it wasn’t always where I had struggled! That gave me new opportunities.

Knowledge from an expert has a higher perceived value. An expert knows the right way AND the wrong way to do things. Knowing how to void pitfalls is definitely valuable!

Why Did I Share All That Information?

I think it is essential for a business owner to know how to do everything. Knowledge sets you up for more success later. A business owner who knows how every part of the business works can focus on the most important areas.

My clients were able to do their own newsletters for as long as it made sense for them to handle that marketing task. Once their businesses grew larger, they had a solid system that they could easily turn over to someone else. Plus, they had a clearly defined process that made it easy to get a new hire up to speed.

My willingness to show clients how to do their own ezines led to more success for me. As they became more successful, partly due to their awesome ezines, I was an obvious choice to take over their ezines – and other admin tasks.

Sharing my “how to” knowledge placed me firmly in the position of expert. Helping my clients – and even people who would never become clients – placed me front and center whenever they had an opportunity to share a referral.

Obsolescence is a Good Thing!

By teaching others to do the first stage work, I cleared the way for me to do the next stage. The people who feel they need to hoard or protect their knowledge miss out. They are less open to learning from non-experts. They miss out on essential perspectives. They eventually hit a ceiling once they have learned everything within their reach. Then they get stuck because they don’t know how to expand their reach.

How can you make yourself obsolete?

If you’re ready to move to a different stage of work, I encourage you to give this question some serious thought!

Why You Need Templates

By

On June 8, 2020

In Admin, Live Cheap, Marketing

Systems are the backbone of administrating a business. I consider it a win any time I can automate a system. That’s why I love templates and forms.

What takes needless time? Needless decisions!

You remove a bit of decision making each time you use a template. Even though you may not be aware of it, those seconds and minutes add up. Tiny decisions add stress and waste time…did I put this information in the first paragraph or the second paragraph last time? Should the date be in YMD format or MDY format?

Cut yourself some slack! It’s easy to present yourself with a consistent professional image just by using a template.

How Microsoft Word Templates Work

Since I do the majority of my work using Word, my templates are built using Word. It’s helpful to understand how Word templates work

DOC versus DOT

A Word document will have a filename of xyzfilename.doc. The DOC extension means that it is a Word document and you can edit that document easily. When you save it, you pick the folder. When you want to edit the document, you go to that folder and open the document.

A Word template will have a filename of xyzfilename.dot. The DOT extension means that it is a Word template, and it will automatically be saved in the Custom Templates folder. You can choose a different location but I advise against that.

“Edit” Versus “Create New”

When you want to edit a template, you go to the Custom Templates folder and right click on the filename. Choose OPEN. Make your edits, save and close it.

When you want to create a new document based on the template, it’s a different process. Click on File, New, New from Template, and the list of all your custom templates will appear. Click on your template, and a COPY of that template is loaded into a document with a DOC extension.

This is the critical difference between a document and a template. Each time you open a document, the document is loaded and you can edit, save, etc. When you use a template, you are loading the pattern into a blank document. You can make all the changes you want in that document and the template stays exactly the same.

Other Types of Templates

Templates are really just patterns that can be reused. They are like paper sewing patterns and digital embroidery files.

How a paper pattern works: You put the paper pattern for a top on fabric, cut it out, put the paper pattern back in the envelope, and sew the fabric. If you decide to change the sleeves for this top, you make those adjustments in your fabric – not the paper pattern. If you decide you want to make this adjustment again, you trace a copy of the sleeve pattern, make the adjustments to the copy, and put the copy into the pattern envelope for next time.

How a digital embroidery file works: You load the embroidery file on to your embroidery machine, thread the machine with your chosen colors (which may or may not be what the file has recommended), and start sewing. If you decide you want to make a change to that design, you load the file into special software, make a copy of the file, and edit the design. The new design is saved with a different name and the original file remains the same.

Just as sewing patterns and digital embroidery files make it easy to get a consistent design, they also save a boatload of time. Imagine if you had to create a new pattern every time you sewed a top. Imagine if you had to create a consistent quilting pattern from scratch with every row – a pantograph or digital design makes it so much easier and faster!

Are you convinced yet? If you have ever used a pattern of any kind, you will definitely enjoy using Word templates.

Template Ideas To Save You Time

Did I mention I love templates? If you need ideas about templates than can save you time, download my Template Ideas To Save You Time. Let me know what you think!

P.S. If you want to know when I have a new guide or report available, head on over to the subscribe button.

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