I was hit with all kinds of doubts and fears this past week. I knew I was on the wrong track. I felt powerless. I had built up momentum on this track, I didn’t know how to shift that momentum to the right track.

My solution was to have a Sad Day.

What’s a Sad Day?

It’s not an acronym. It’s not a gimmick. It’s not a series of actions or exercises that magically make everything turn out right. It’s simply a day that I can feel sad.

Feeling our feelings is hard.

For people who have experienced trauma (isn’t that everyone?) allowing ourselves to fully feel any feeling can be terrifying. It can feel like a loss of control that will lead to complete destruction of the safe environment we’ve created. Feeling sadness can open the floodgates to overwhelming grief, anger, or depression.

Society still, even with all the progress we’ve made, tries to keep us from feeling our feelings. Or talking about them.

We try to push our feelings aside so we can examine them at a more convenient time. When that convenient time comes it’s often too late to process those feelings or act on them.

We pretend those feelings don’t exist. We think that if we admit to being sad, we are automatically labeled as depressed. Or manic because the day before we were overjoyed because something good happened.

I didn’t do any of those things this time. I decided to just have a Sad Day and let those feelings happen.

I gave myself permission to take the day off from being a happy responsible adult. I didn’t do the housecleaning or cooking or hobbies that I normally would do. I didn’t do anything productive that I normally would do.

Fortunately, I have a super supportive husband who understands Sad Days. When I told him I was taking a Sad Day, he picked up the slack where it was necessary. He knows I will do the same for him.

I wrote in my journal. I watched some Netflix. I wandered around doing nothing. I reveled in my sadness. I embraced my sadness. I listened to my sadness.

Sadness Has A Message For You

My sadness had a big message for me. In creating this blog, I followed a path laid out by others. I highly recommend learning by following an example, as it is a fast way to learn without distractions. But I forgot an important step. I didn’t pay enough attention to what I genuinely wanted to create.

My goal with this blog is to stay motivated as I write my novel. A second goal is to earn income. The recommended way to earn income quickly is to provide services. I agree with this recommendation…but it is not the ONLY way to earn income.

Copywriting and coaching services are great services and I can definitely provide them. In fact, up until 2018 that is what I provided. My Sad Day was a wake-up call that I had just recreated what I had retired in 2018 because it was not serving my purpose any more. Oops.

My Sad Day extended into the next day. I needed a little bit more time to fully integrate the message that I need to clearly define semi-retirement. There was a lot to discover after nearly 30 days on this right-turned-wrong track.

My husband, being the awesome man he is, started to nudge me along. It took him three tries to get me outside. Being outside almost always improves my mood! He built a fire in the firepit and we sat in front of the fire. He listened while I shared my discoveries. We talked about our goals as a retired couple, and how this blog/my novel fits into our shared lifestyle.

And then I went back to work. I started to re-define the blog purpose.

  • Not services.
  • Information and research – for my novel and for others.
  • Motivation – for myself and for others.
  • Recommendations for creative makers, to help them live the life they dream of.

Knowing my purpose makes it easier to identify my opportunities. How can I earn an income if the majority of my time is spent on writing and researching?

I can easily make recommendations for services or products that I have tested and researched. That’s affiliate marketing at its best. (At its worst, affiliates promote things they have no knowledge of, just to get a commission.)

I can easily use my research to write and sell ebooks that will be of value to others. I’m doing the work anyway, why not make it available? If it helps someone else to find their purpose, or to create a more successful business, that will be a bonus for me.

Today I am back on track. I have a plan to rewrite a few parts of my blog. I have my motivation back. It doesn’t feel daunting to do my daily goal. It feels exciting to move forward again.

We all need Sad Days. They give us insights into our own behaviours. They provide new opportunities to live our dreams.

The next time a Sad Day taps at your soul, stop and listen for the message. Find someone you can talk to once you hear the message. Sharing your discoveries can shine a light on new opportunities.

Let me know in the comments how you handle a Sad Day.