There’s something special about turning 50. For me, it was like flipping a switch. I suddenly felt I had permission to let go of all the restrictive behaviours I learned in the previous four decades.

I have been waiting for this decade all my life!

Turning 50 also had a few surprises. At 49 I ended up in the hospital with necrotizing pneumonia. If you know your Latin, you know that anything with “necrotizing” in the diagnosis is bad.

Nine days in the hospital, over 2 liters of fluid drained from my lungs, massive amounts of antibiotics, and then I was released. I was weak as a kitten. Walking more than a dozen steps was exhausting. Stay tuned, I have a story about this day that will likely end up in a novel!

Less than a month out of hospital I began experiencing stroke-like symptoms. Freaked me out. Freaked my husband out. Back to the emergency department. It turned out to be a benign meningioma and my neurosurgeon successfully removed it. Thank goodness it wasn’t cancer, but brain surgery is still no picnic.

While my health scares were treated quickly, the after effects have been a little hard to deal with. I also experienced childhood trauma, which didn’t make my more recent recovery any easier. I’m still healing.

Now here I am in my 50s. I am alive in the “me too” age, and I’m so grateful to see that trauma recovery resources are available to people of every age now.

Turning 50 was a turning point for me. After two health scares, and decades of fear around my childhood experience, I decided that enough is enough. Fear, I have realized, is the backside of excitement. Those butterflies in my stomach can stop me, or they can lift me up to new heights.

Today I give myself permission

  • To speak out when I have something to say.
  • To seek help when I need it.
  • To help others when I can.  
  • To follow my dreams.

Even when it is scary. Maybe ESPECIALLY when it is scary.

So why this blog?

When I retired my business in 2018, I expected to be happily retired with my husband. I expected to keep myself busy with new hobbies, like quilting and sewing. I expected to keep learning. And I have done all of that.

One thing I want to do in retirement is to write my novels. I’m not doing that. So this blog is my outside influence to help me stay on course.

I also created a private Facebook group. If you’ve ever felt you could achieve your big dreams if you only had a little support and encouragement, come on over and join me there. It’s an informal mastermind group, with “get-it-done” days, and opportunities to share ideas.

What would you create in your life if you didn’t let fear get in the way?